In terms of the quality and duration of your marriage, the factors/attractions that brought you two together aren't nearly as important as how you handle conflicts, which are inevitable. You can either tear each other apart over differences or grow from it.

Here are the 4 danger signs:

1) Withdrawal: Shut down, turn away, do anything to get away fast, even "Okay, okay, just tell me whatever you want me to do and I'll do it".

2) Escalation: Temperament that tend to grow more negative and explosive rather than settling rationally. e.g. civil war --> atomic bomb. Step back, apologize for hurt feelings, rephrase...

3) Invalidation: Ignoring or putting down thoughts and concerns of others. Name calling, character assassination statements... sadly we are least polite and invalidating to the people we love the most.

4) Negative Interpretation: Read into actions or statements more negatively than what the person is actually saying/doing. Questioning of motive. Thoughts like: "She's just trying to manipulate/control me." Or, "He's only doing this to benefit himself." etc... Ask, "Are there ways I'm being unfair?"

Sadly I can say I've done all of the above. Thankfully we don't give up so easily. We can always give more grace and more mercy. Be nice. Listen better. Edit out the desire to rebut <-- that's a hard one. Not lose a sense of humor. Agree to protect and preserve our time spent together.

On a less serious note, this is the funniest "Buttons" audio. Hilarious.

Or pencils. The more you use, the shorter it gets... so short where you can barely hold it to write. So he'd use a rubber band and tie it around a taller stick. He's so smart!

Or paper. He loved paper. We used to throw away paper that we only wrote on one side, then the next day, we'd see them on Grandpa's desk. He'd use it to make scratch paper books or to write his poem or sermons on. Once I gave him two packs of new construction paper and he was SO happy. He is so cute. Which leads to...

Goodbye: Red Envelopes From Grandpa and Grandma

Our Grandparents were generous with their money. Whatever they had they mostly set aside for their Grandkids or to give to the church. We'd get red envelopes for our birthdays, for our weddings, for THEIR anniversaries, THEIR birthdays, Christmas... We'd get together as a big family, then they'd call our names, and we'd go and receive the gift. I remember being so touched when she even called Sam's name before we even got married. Publicly announcing that he is part of our family.

And every once in a while, she'd pull one of us over and hand us a $20. And then she'll tell us it's just because she loves us. To use it to buy something we like because she doesn't have a car.

These were the envelopes that they came in. Made out of used wrapping paper, scratch paper...